Wounds



I don’t remember the last time I had a serious wound, but if I look at my legs, I see marks of wounds that I have carried with me since my childhood days, when I used to play soccer on the streets of my neighborhood and concrete. Some of the cuts that I sustained from playing soccer were significant, and it took quite some time to heal, but the marks are still on my legs, serving as surreal reminders of the wounds of long ago.

A few years ago, I sustained second and third-degree burns on my back. I have no idea what happened, but it looks like I passed out. And when I came to myself, I was lying in a pool of hot grease - I had been frying fish. I was taken to the emergency room and then transferred to a burn center in Augusta, GA, where I underwent skin grafting. I don’t remember how long I stayed at that hospital, but I was there for some time. I still carry the marks of those wounds with me.

The reality is, unless and until I undergo some procedure to remove all the scars, there’s no way that I could get rid of them. In a very powerful way, they serve as personal reminders of injuries - wounds that have left indelible scars on me.

The thing about wounds is that they may last a lifetime if we decide not to seek how we can get rid of them. The question is, how do we get these wounds, and how can we get rid of them?

There are times when life feels like each of us is holding a weapon with one hand, and with these weapons we can strike at ourselves and others with ease, inflicting unfathomable wounds on ourselves and others. Whether you are a victim or an aggressor, you carry that wound with you. Like it or not, the fact that the wound may be raw and we carry them with us often dictates how we react to ourselves or to those who inflicted that wound on us.

In the same way that we hold a weapon with one hand, so do we hold a magic portion with which we can heal our wounds and the wounds of others with the other hand. The essence of possessing that magic portion is that you don’t have to carry the wound with you all through your life, whether it was someone who inflicted the wound or you inflicted it on yourself.

There’s a story of a young man who traveled to a remote monastery in search of wisdom. He found an old monk by a stream stacking stones. The young man sat beside him and said, ‘Master, I feel very tired of everything in life - people, even myself. ‘The monk didn’t reply; instead, he handed him a small stone, and he said, ‘Hold this.’ The hound man obeyed but looked confused. The young man continued, ‘I try my best, but nothing ever feels enough.’ The monk gave him another stone. ‘Hold this one too. And then he said, ‘People take advantage of me. I am always the one who understands.’ The monk gave him another stone ‘Hold this one too.’ Now, the young man was holding three stones. He frowned and said to the monk ‘Master, what are you doing?’

The old monk smiled and said to him, ‘You came here with burdens. Every complaint, every would you carry is like these stones.’ The young man shifted uncomfortably and said, ‘They are not heavy yet.’ The monk replied, ‘They are not heavy yet, but walk around with them all day. Sleep with them. Eat with them and soon they will exhaust you-not because of their weight but because you never let them go.’ The young man stared at the stones in his hand and slowly placed them down. He didn’t say a word but smiled for the first time in weeks.

It is important to understand that we don’t have to carry every wound with us just because someone chose to hurt us or we chose to hurt ourselves. Some burdens and wounds are yours only, and until you choose to release them, they will always be the stones that you carry along. Those burdens and wounds which you choose to release are not indelible marks, they are the part of you that you have come to understand that you cannot carry with you forever and that carrying them doesn’t necessarily solve any of our problems. Rather, they always leave us unfulfilled and bitter. 

Some wounds indeed cut so deep that we can convince ourselves of every reason to carry the stones with us. It is as if those ‘stones’ proffer some meaning on us, and that laying those stones by the river in order to live diminishes us.

But if we are to understand that nothing so diminishes us than our desire to walk away from God, then we have not truly learned the ways of God. I believe strongly that it is even when we feel the need to walk away from God that we ought to stay much closer to God. Stay closer to God to test God’s faithfulness and grace in both the good times and the not so good times. Staying closer to God is what lovers do; they stay close to the object of their love.

Hayao Miyazaki, a Japanese animator, once said ‘Real love is two souls sparking life back into each other because some days walking hurts; each sunrise feels heavier than the last one and passion slips through our fingers like sand. When love stands beside you, it turns the next shaky step into a quiet victory. Yes, life wounds, the road is cracked, the world often cursed, but with the right hand in yours, every bruise becomes a compass, pointing forward.”

I think Miyazaki’s thoughts are so beautiful and apt for those of us who are carrying different wounds; some deep, some shallow but who have found a compass within our wounds. Whatever the nature of the wound is, carrying them along, often by ourselves alone reduces our reliance on God.

However, with God holding our right hand with the left hand is one sure way of moving forward, not on the same path you have been walking on, but a different path. Once we lock our hands with God, we are destined to walk on a different path.

I do not know which wound you may be carrying, but the uniqueness of this new path is about who we become on the way. And on this new path, we no longer carry any wounds.

I learned many years ago that easy roads build comfort, but harder roads build character. And if we are to choose a path, we ought to choose paths that shape us rather than those that spare us.

As we celebrate Juneteenth, we reflect on all our wounds, past and present. And we wonder if there ever will be a time when we can truly put down the stones, those wounds we carry. 

Time, they say, heals all wounds, which may be true. But time in itself may not be sufficient in this healing process if we ourselves are not ready to drop those stones.

Let’s stretch out our hands for God to hold them.

Let’s stretch out our wills for God to transform them.

Let’s stretch out our hearts for God to touch them.

And we will find no space for any of the wounds we carry. 

Manny+