God's Call to Ordained Ministry
Greetings, Dear Christ Church Community!
I'm going to share a few snippets of my life that eventually led to God’s calling and candidacy to Holy Orders.
Care for God's creation was already a part of me when I was little. I still vividly remember the day when my siblings poked an anthill, got the angry ants to come out, and stomped them to death. I experienced horror and deep sadness at witnessing this - to me, all life was beautiful, awesome, and precious, so this act of terror was unacceptable. I could see how every action leads to a certain result and that there was a consequence. Not one to waste anything, I advocate for reducing waste, recycling, and reusing/repurposing - to this day, you might occasionally find me pulling out recyclables from trash cans. I petition to save wildlife and prevent the exploitation of this earth, and I continue to be concerned and pray for this planet.
Spiritually, my eyes were open at an early age. When I was seven or so, I was in wonder of how light broke through the clouds and was in utter awe. Around that time, I saw images of Christ on my neighbor's walls and had a holy curiosity about the realities of the spiritual world. I was convinced of God's existence then. Years later, I had a special experience of God's love and care of me - this was at an Anglican monastic community called Jesus Abbey in the mountains of South Korea.
My eyes were also open to the needs of others early on; I set aside my needs to take care of my younger sister, was practically a caregiver to my brother who was abused and neglected, and was a regular go-between and peace-seeker during family conflict. My father, having experienced much hardship and frustration as an immigrant, tore up his Bible and said, "There is no God!" and stopped attending church services. When I was in fourth grade, I led my parents back to church with a simple but earnest invitation. I continue to notice people on the margins and those who need to be brought into the fold.
The call to ministry started when I was in my early teens. In a small church in Wiesbaden, Germany, I stepped up and became the church organist. Music ministry continued into my young adulthood; I led the youth choir and played in a worship band in South Korea. In Kyrgyzstan, I served as the principal pianist for the International Church of Bishkek and led the adult choir and instrumental ensemble at Christmas. I felt like a channel - an instrument - for worship. Despite my performance anxiety, stepping into the role of providing piano music for the church never felt intimidating - it was joyful and meaningful. God's Spirit came through the music I played, and many people shared with me how they were blessed by it.
The call to ordained ministry was gradual but unmistakable. I remember translating at a missionary conference and being so inspired by the joy I sensed from my missionary friends' witness and reports, that I also wanted to be a part of what they did. I sensed a special calling to serve the people in North Korea - when the borders opened up. This inspired me to go to Fuller Seminary, where I discovered a passion for good theology and thoughtful exegesis/interpretation. Seeking to gain as much knowledge as possible, I graduated with a Master of Divinity, not knowing what God would use it for. Without me seeking them, ministry positions were offered - to preach and teach (faith formation). In hindsight, I believe God was using me and granting me opportunities to break open the Word, lead faith formation, engage His people, and provide pastoral care.
During my years as chaplain, the fact that I had pastoral authority was confirmed through the testimonies of my patients and their loved ones. As I ministered to the sick and dying, I sensed a strong and ever-growing desire to bless them in the name of the Lord, grant them absolution of sins for the sake of reconciliation with God, and administer Ministration to the Sick in their last days. My personal belief in the importance of the Eucharist and the desire to continue this sacred, important, life-giving celebration for the sake of God's people became a passion.
This was not a journey I took alone - I had the moral and real support of Bishop Robert Ihloff and his advocacy early in this process. During these past few months, I have had the heartfelt support of Canon Kristofer Lindh-Payne. I truly appreciate Father Manny, Deacon Denise, the entire staff, the Vestry, the Discernment Committee for their kind and consistent support, and everyone who welcomed, accepted, and supported me. Finding a home church here was, to me, like having a firm foundation, and the clergy support was like having pillars supporting me through this process.
There were some obstacles and hindrances while I was a postulant, things I consider to be a blessing. While hardship and difficulties presented themselves, I quietly waited for the Lord to justify me and make my path straight. It took over two years, but God's power came through and the fact that His hand was upon my discernment journey became evident. Much like the joy that Baltimore Oriole Jackson Holliday must have felt after recently hitting a grand slam after being benched for three months, my heart was full when I recently received a call from Bishop Carrie Shofield-Broadbent that the Commission on Ministry unanimously recommended that I be considered for ordained ministry and that she agreed.
It is with great humility that I embark on this journey towards ordained ministry. I covet your prayers and continued support. May God continue to lead me to the ordination to the priesthood, and empower me to serve His people and to administer the Sacraments. Amen.
Blessings and peace,
Kiona Lookingbill
Director of Youth and Family Ministries
Коментарі