What Is Your Why?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. And the spirit and tradition surrounding the Thanksgiving celebration is already in full flight. Schools are closed so children can travel to be with families far and near. Many people are also traveling to join friends and families to celebrate the ‘Feast of Thanksgiving.’ From my first Thanksgiving experience to today, Thanksgiving is for me a feast about families and friends coming together, irrespective of what is going on in our individual and communal lives. 

The feast was born out of hardship - when Pilgrims in ‘Plimouth’ gathered with Native Americans for a three-day celebration, giving thanks for a bountiful harvest. It had been a very harsh year for the Pilgrims. But with the help of Native Americans, especially Squanto, who spoke English, they planted corn and had a bumper harvest. They overcame all odds and survived. Thanksgiving feast became their why, their way of giving thanks for how far Ebenezer has brought them. The Pilgrims clearly understood their why.

Do you know your why? Do you know why you are joining others in celebrating this Thanksgiving feast? Again, the Pilgrims knew why they celebrated the feast and why they invited their Native American friends to join them. But do you know your why?

There’s a story of one Daniel, who went to Bali in Southeast Asia with his friends. While in Bali, he saw a massive mountain on the horizon, and he and his friends decided to go on a trip to climb this mountain, named Agung. They arranged for guides to help them with their climb. On the day they were to climb the mountain, they woke up at midnight and took a bus to the base so they could climb it through the night. At 1:00 a.m. and with tiny lamps on their foreheads, they made their way through a challenging climb until they finally got to the top at 6 a.m.

For some strange reason, they didn’t inquire why they had to climb through the night, but it all made sense when they got to the top of the mountain. The magic was that the sun came up at 6:00 a.m. And to catch the beauty of the sunrise, you must climb through the night to reach the summit by 6:00.

When the sun came up, it was glorious; the air was thin and crisp, and it was just an incredible feeling. The sun lit up Bali, and they could see the entire island and the beautiful, glimmering sea. It was an unbelievable sight. 

But while on the top of the mountain, that same man looked over the horizon and saw another mountain. He then said to the guide:

“What’s that mountain over there?”

“That’s Mount Ranjani,” the guard replied.

“Is that on the island of Bali?” he asked.

“No, no, it’s on a different island.” the guide replied

“How do you get there?” he asked.

“You've got to catch a ferry.” said the guide.

“How many days does it take?” he asked.

“You've got to go for three days,” the guide responded.

“How long does it take to climb?” he inquired.

 “It takes about the same amount of time we used to climb Agung.”the guide responded.

“How much is it? Can I book through you?”

At that moment, the guard turned and said to him, “Mr. Daniel, you should appreciate the mountain you are standing on right now.”

Part of our human story is that many of us get distracted by the other mountain over the horizon, to the point that we forget the mountain upon which we stand and the effort it took to climb up that mountain - and why we decided to climb that mountain in the first place.

Daniel had made a great effort to climb Mount Agung, but he was now so distracted by another mountain. But the real part of understanding my why is to appreciate the mountain I stand on.

We get distracted by the pain, hurt, disappointment, and many other hardships, and we forget that we are standing on a mountain for which we should be grateful. Unfortunately for many, situations of hardship beg the question, "Why give thanks when there’s nothing to give thanks for? Why give thanks when I don’t have a why?"

But remember this: gratitude and thanksgiving are lessons embedded within hardship, and they are a mature recognition that value can be extracted from suffering. In other words, there is something valuable to be gained from our suffering, and as difficult and terrifying as they may be, we should give thanks. St. Paul reminds us: “Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

It is when you know why you stand on a particular mountain that you come to realize that your story is relevant, your background is important, your value is undiminished, your gifts are worth celebrating, and that every bit of your life is worth your fullest attention and praise. This is when your thanksgiving becomes more meaningful and impactful; it becomes transformational. 

As we all make our way to different homes to celebrate this Feast of Thanksgiving, the question for your kind consideration is, what is your why?

It sometimes feels a little trite when we make a list of things we are thankful for. Not that they do not matter - they do. But they often lack intentionality, purpose, and focus.

There is no doubt that we will most certainly hear the question, “What are you thankful for?” at dinner tables this Thanksgiving Day. But as you work through your list of things you are thankful for, I’d like to invite you to consider this prayer.

It is a Jewish prayer that every Jew, especially devout ones, offers every morning without fail upon waking. This is the prayer: “I thank you, living and eternal king, that you have mercifully restored my soul within me. Great is your faithfulness.”

This prayer serves as a reminder to begin each day with thankfulness - not because life is rosy, not because every bit of your life is going up and up, not because there’s something to smile or laugh about, not because you haven’t lost a loved one, not because the car doesn’t need to get fixed and you don’t have the money, not because the kids haven’t messed up, not because the mortgage doesn’t need to be paid, not because the medical bill doesn’t need to be paid, not because taxes don’t need to be paid, not because there isn’t enough food in the pantry, and not because we have extra money for our savings. No.

We offer our thanks because we have come to learn that personal struggles generate a greater capacity for joy, and joy is the mother of gratitude. More than that, we understand what God's faithfulness is all about.

I once read this quote by Albert Camus: In the middle of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer. It is the hope of summer, the summer which is buried within me and refuses to give up despite the harshness of the winter months, that abideth still, and for which I am thankful because another day offers another opportunity to do something different and to be something different.

It is the possibility of summer that gives life to my why and makes it meaningful and life-changing.

I wish you and yours a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. 

Manny+