I accepted a voluntary demotion in my job several months ago. I had been unhappy at work for many months and had more than one dispute with my new bosses about how to fix problems so I shouldn’t have been surprised when they asked me to transfer. But I was surprised, and I was upset. My ego was bruised. I felt that I was abandoning co-workers. I was angry and had several weeks of troubled sleep.
Fortunately, my frustration was replaced eventually with a calm recognition of how much better my life is without the stresses of the old job. I truly feel blessed that I am valued by the new team of colleagues and clients and that I have time to dedicate myself to each case instead of the triage method of defense work you’re forced to do in the city.
My hours are better. For nearly 5 years I worked 10+ hours each day at the office (with many at home too) and started most days with a flurry of texts to fix problems. I loved the exciting pace and enjoyed solving problems all day. But when my work shifted to the point where I felt I wasn’t able to solve many of the problems, my love for the work changed. I felt burdened and frustrated most days.
Now I get to have a cup of tea and spend time with our dogs in the morning before work. Right now, they’re learning how to “leave it” when I put their treat in front of them. Last week they stayed for 10 minutes waiting for me to release them to have their treat!
I’m not sure when the shift occurred that I moved from being upset to when I became satisfied and happy in my new position. It came over several months and happened because of several things:
My husband, Tom, patiently and lovingly helped me through it. He helped us figure out the financial changes we’d have to make and helped me feel valued in everything I do. My friends and other family were very supportive and didn’t let me dwell in the “outraged” stage very long. Several spoke with me every day for a while to be sure I was okay. They took me out to eat or just hung out with me and let me vent for a while and then made me see the good things that were happening.
Father Manny prayed with me several times and prayed for me. It was very “freeing” to give my problems over to him and to God. Having a loving Priest in my life is such an anchor.
And then I think my own praying has helped. I didn’t even feel like praying at first but when I finally asked God to help me stop being angry, I was actually feeling less angry.
The other thing that has helped me tremendously is having music in my life and having friends to do music with. We pray together and just have fun while we do our music making so it’s like group therapy! We help each other through our tough times or we just forget that we have tough times for a while.
As I read over what I’ve written, I feel embarrassed that I act like this job change was so devastating. There are certainly worse things that happen to people than this and, at least I have a job for heaven’s sake. I guess that I can add that to my long list of good things; it could have been much worse. Thank You, God. You help me to dwell in the beauty of the moments and not linger in the sad ones.